My sophomore year of high school I had to take Biology. The first day of school I walked into the classroom and looked to see who was in my class. Lots of pretty/popular girls, a few of my friends, a few guys I actually knew, a bunch I knew their names, and a few I didn’t know. I remember seeing a boy and thinking, he’s adorable… But he’s way too popular for me so don’t even try. A few weeks later, he switched seats to sit next to his friend, and I was on the other side of him. I started to really notice him. He was really funny and seemed really cool. I eventually got the guts to start talking to him and he was really nice to me. I couldn’t help but have a little crush on him, but I had a boyfriend at the time so I felt horrible for it, even thought I couldn’t help it.. I’d always sneak looks at him but pretend I was looking over his head at the clock. I would try and talk to him whenever I could and even gave him a courageous hug now and again. People would always ask us, “Are you two dating?” And I’d blush and quick blurt something saying no and he’d basically just stand there and say nothing. I finally asked him for his number and I couldn’t help but text him nonstop. I always felt like I was annoying him but I would still text him after school with a little “hey” because I didn’t know what else to say. We started hanging out a few times at first, then it was every weekend. And my boyfriend was getting pissed that I even talked to him but I would lie and say that me and him were just friends. As I got to know him more, he was way more than I expected. He was actually really smart. Not necessarily in the book way, but just smart. He understood. I still never thought he would even consider me even though I really REALLY liked him. I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help it. I learned more about him. Things like, he rides motocross, he’s a snowboard instructor, things about his family, things I used to think he did but never actually had. It was so easy to be around him. Then when the 2nd semester started we had gym together too. One day I had a little squirt gun and walked over and squirted him with it. His friend Dan said, “hey Sydney. Do you like RJ?!” And I turned sooooo red. I hid behind my friend and prayed that he didn’t see how red I was. Then HIS friends started telling me that we should date. Finally I had to ask him once and for all if he liked me. I was too chicken to ask him to his face so I texted him saying, “I have been wondering this for a really long time and I just have to ask. And just answer yes or no. Do you like me?” and hit send as quick as I could before changing my mind. My hands were sweating and my heart was beating fast and things were running through my head like wildfire. “What if he DOESN’T like me? What if it’s all been in my head?” But he texted back and said yes. I literally dropped my jaw and my phone (I was sitting on my bed no worries). But after he said that he knew I had a boyfriend and would respect that and blah blah blah. But now that I knew he liked me, I felt more confused and upset with myself and pissed off and depressed because I had no idea what to do. One day we were hanging out at his house and playing video games. Something made us laugh and we looked at each other, smiling. And he said to me, “God I wish I could kiss you.” And I thought “PLEASE. PLEASE DO IT.” But we couldn’t… He drove me home and without thinking I smushed my lips against his before getting out of the car. I pulled away and said, “I had to do it at least once.” Then, you wouldn’t believe this, then he said, “I love you.” WHAT THE SHIT I LITERALLY ALMOST PISSED MYSELF. I WAS SO FUCKING SURPRISED AND EVEN MORE CONFUSED AND I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO. So I said… “What?!” And he said all this stuff about how he knows we can just be friends and blah blah blah. But I knew that after those three little words, we could never be “just friends”. I didn’t realize it until then, but I loved him too. And I knew I would have to make a choice. I called my boyfriend a few days later and told him that I couldn’t be with him anymore (I live in PA and he lives in NC… Sooooo of course it didn’t work out) and I felt soooo bad. But part of me was relieved too. I called him next, telling him what happened, and I was crying too. He told me he would drive me to school the next day. He gave me a ride home too. And when we pulled into my drive way, he gave me a hug and whispered, “I know you haven’t been single for very long, but will you go out with me?” And I kissed him and nodded yes. And we’ve been together since March 5th, 2012. I’m in love with him. And after this long, every time we kiss I still get a warm, fuzzy, butterfly feeling in my tummy. He is the best thing that could ever happen to me. He is literally perfect for me. I love you RJ. Link to his Tumblr below.
